And I’d choose you;
in a hundred lifetimes,
in a hundred worlds,
in any version of reality,
I’d find you and
I’d choose you.
– The Chaos of Stars
Ryan and I were nineteen years old on our first date eating cheap Chinese food when the idea of adoption came up casually in our conversation. It’s funny looking back on that now, since we were so unprepared at that time for a serious relationship and especially a baby. Who mentions that on their first date?! Looking back, it’s fun to see how God was preparing our hearts at an early age for what was to come. Little did we know!
Fast forward nine years later and here we are in a mountain of paperwork and feeling like we’re on the brink of something big and exciting. We are so close to the “next chapter” of our lives…parenthood. We’ll be bringing our sweet baby home sooner then later, and we couldn’t be more nervous and excited for what’s to come.
Since our little facebook announcement we have received so many questions that I thought I would write a little FAQ post. It’s something we love to talk about but it’s hard to tell our whole story in a short conversation! So grab a chair and pretend we’re having coffee…I’ll fill you in.
Q: What agency are you going through?
We felt called to go with a consulting organization called “FAC” (Faithful Adoption Consultants). We were in the middle of the search process when I had a coffee date with my friend Sarah (who just adopted her sweet baby boy). I immediately got in my car, found FAC on Instagram, and started following their story. We quickly fell in love with their heart for prayer and their heart for birth moms. We also love that the employees there are all families who have already been through the adoption process! They cover each family and mom in so much prayer, and that is priceless to us.
Q: When will you get the baby?
The short answer is – we’re not sure! We will be finished with paperwork in the next few weeks and then we will be “active” and able to match with a specific birth momma and her baby. It could take anywhere from a day to several months to be matched. If you know me, you know that I love to make detailed plans. It has been a freeing process to give the timing of this to God and see what happens!
Q: Where will they come from?
It will be a domestic adoption, so we will get a baby born in the U.S. We’re not sure which state yet but we are preparing to fly and travel to meet them when they are born!
Q: Why are you adopting? Can you have kids of your own?
For us, it was never a matter of IF we would adopt, but WHEN we would adopt. The timing never seemed right (is the timing ever right for kids?!) but after an unexpected miscarriage last year we knew we were ready to start a family. A few months later we set up a meeting and here we are! We hope to have more adopted and biological babies in the future and possibly even venture into foster care.
Q: Did you get to choose gender or race?
We did have the option to choose gender or race, but we decided to leave this door wide open. We know God has the perfect baby planned for us and we can’t wait to see what they look like!
Q: How old will they be?
Again, we did not choose a specific age and left this door open but our consultants do work primarily with newborns. In most of their matches the adoptive family meets the sweet baby at the hospital. We are also open to older children and sibling sets. So again, we are excited to see what the Lord has in store for us as it will be a total surprise!
Q: Do you get to choose the name?
Yes, we do get to choose the name. Any suggestions? 😉
Q: What is the next step you’re working on?
Right now we are completing our home study and waiting on Ryan’s Texas birth certificate to come in the mail. We plan to finish up paperwork and complete our home study in the next few weeks, and then we will become “active” and ready to be matched!
Q: Is it expensive?
Yes, a private adoption is expensive. Faithful Adoption Consultants allow you to set a budget for your adoption which is very helpful. We feel very blessed financially to be able to do this. We hope to have a few fundraisers to offset some the cost. Also, if you are looking into adoption I do want you to know there are many other ways to adopt that are more affordable, such as DHS and “fostering to adopt”.
Q: Will your adoption be open or closed?
If you’re new to the whole adoption lingo, “closed” means no contact with the birth mother and “open” means contact with her.
We hope that our adoption will be as open as possible. Our baby and whatever is healthy for them emotionally will of course be our first priority, but we are so excited to form a relationship with our birth mom and pour into them as much as we can. We hope they will be a huge part of our family and our story from the first day we meet.
Q: How can I get started?
If you are interested in adoption, I’d absolutely love to go grab coffee with you and hear your story. The first step to getting started is researching your options! Start searching through agencies, consulting companies, and fostering agencies and decide what’s best for you and your family. Set up a meeting with each option and talk through it in person so they can answer all your questions. My biggest piece of advice if you even think you feel this calling on your heart is just start looking into it! There is never a perfect time, but I will say from the first meeting we set we felt a peace put on our hearts and knew we we’re heading in the right direction.